Ada and Dot on the Pier

It was blustery today.  Ada’s headscarf stuck out like a windsock and Dot had her hat tied firmly under her chin.  The seagulls wheeled overhead, shrieking greetings to one another and passing on information about the location of the best fish. Butch, Ada’s dog, muttered quietly to himself as he watched the birds, possibly dreaming about a gull-sized snack, or maybe about the fun he could have chasing one across the sand.  On the horizon, as Ada and Dot looked out from the end of the pier, a ship slowly made its way from west to east, destination unknown.

‘So, how’s Alf’s gout?’  Dot asked Ada.

‘Ooh, playing up something terrible.’  Ada replied, shaking her head and sighing.  ‘’E’s like a bear with a sore ‘ead, I can tell you.’

‘Sore ‘ead?’  Dot looked confused.  ‘Thought it was in ‘is foot?’

‘Well, it is, dear.  It’s a saying, isn’t it?’

‘What is?’

‘Bear with a sore ‘ead … oh, never mind.’  Ada cleared her throat as Dot continued to digest this piece of information.  ‘’Ow’s whats-‘er-face next door?’

‘Oo?  Margaret?’

‘No, other side?  One with a dodgy hip?’  Ada corrected.

‘Oh, Winnie!  Alright considerin’.’  Dot nodded to herself and continued to watch the ship on the horizon.

Ada waited for a minute, then, realising she would have to tease out the rest of the conversation asked,

‘Considerin’ what?’

‘Well, considerin’ that Mandy’s got ‘erself in the family way.  No ‘usband.  No boyfriend either from what I ‘ear.  Always was a little … you know.  Short skirts and red lipstick.’  Dot screwed up her face and shook her head in obvious disapproval.

‘Which one’s Mandy then?’  Ada questioned after a moment’s silence.

‘You know … Evie’s eldest.’  Dot took an exasperated tone as Ada continued to look at her blankly.  ‘Winnie’s daughter, Evie.  The one with the bleached hair … short skirts.  Red lipstick.’  Dot paused as she fully absorbed the implications of her last description.  The conclusions didn’t need stating.  Instead she carried on with, ‘I always said she was trouble, I did.  Always.  Since she was a nipper.  Ran poor Evie ragged she did.’

‘’Ow old is she then?  Still in school?’

‘School?!’  Dot crowed with laughter.  ‘She’s 34!’

‘34?  The way you were talkin’ I thought she was 16 or somethin’.  34’s not so awful to be havin’ a baby.  ‘Usband or not.  Maybe she couldn’t wait for the right one.  Its not like our day.  Not any more.’

‘No.’  Dot pursed her lips and heaved her not inconsiderable chest out towards the sea.  ‘No, its not.  And not better for it, I might add.’

‘Yeah, well.’  Ada equivocated.

There followed a companionable silence as Butch shuffled about still gruffling at the birds and Dot and Ada continued to watch the ship that was now sailing into the distance.  The wind continued to tug at their coats and hats. 

‘What’s for your tea, then?’  Asked Dot.

‘Steak and kidney.’  Replied Ada.

‘Oo, lovely.’  Said Dot, smacking her lips.

‘Well, its ‘is favourite, intit?’

‘Ah, nice.’ 

‘What’s for yours?’  Asked Ada, shuffling her feet as the chilly wind whipped round her ankles.

‘I’m off down the chippy.  Fish supper in front of X-Factor.’

‘Ah, nice.’ 

‘I know they all go on about ‘im, but I think that Simon Cowell’s a bit of alright.’  Dot crowed with laughter again, as Ada looked at her sideways and tutted under her breath.

‘Well, best be off.’  Said Ada, tugging at Butch’s lead. 

‘Yeees, best be off.’  Agreed Dot.

‘Same time tomorrow?’  Asked Ada.

‘It’ll have to be ‘alf ‘our later tomorrow.  Havin’ me corns done at 9.30.  That nice young man off the High Street.’

‘Oh.  Nice.  Bye then.’  Said Ada, walking off, her gait reminiscent of a sailor too long at sea.

‘Bye then, lovey.’  Called back Dot, glancing at Ada as she lurched off down the pier and then returning her gaze to the now empty horizon, clamping a hand to her head as a particularly vicious gust threatened to tear off her hat.